Antropology soul mates.
Wednesday, Aug. 01, 2012 9:14 PM

My summer class ends tomorrow and I'm rather upset because it'll be the last time I see the boy that I'm practically in love with.
I'm 98% sure he has a girlfriend so it never went anywhere, but honestly, I haven't felt this way in a REALLY long time.
I'm utterly besotted-and it scared the shit out of me.
I'd gotten use to not ever want to be with anyone and just focusing on myself, but all I ever think about now is being with him. It's shit because it'll never happen, but he was just so perfect.
Not perfect perfect, but perfect for me, you know? He was older, really tall, and pretty intelligent. He wants to be a history/Anthropology professor so we could talk about History for the rest of our lives.
I met him in January because he was the tutor for my Anthropology class and pretty much had an immediate crush on him-although I didn't acknowledge it till March. When I found out he had a girlfriend, I was crushed, but kept on loving him from afar anyways.
I'm sincerely hoping that since I'm taking Anthro 102 next semester, that I can pretend I'm really sucking at it and go see him as a tutor. The plan works fine in my head except he knows how well I did in Anthro 101-better than he did, even.
But talking to the people I sat next to in my summer class, they could all pretty much tell that I liked him. Maybe it was the fact that I did nothing but stare at him and try to talk to him every chance I got.
They say it seems like he likes me too, but if that girlfriend is in the picture...let's just say I'm not one to condone an affair, even though it really sounds dumb calling it an affair because they're not married, and I'm like, 19.
I just don't want this to end though, you know? I LIKE this feeling whenever I see him. I sound like such a stupid little girl and if I were any one else I'd be telling myself to shut the fuck up, but I'm not. The last man that's ever made any kind of impact on my heart was Jake, and that ended so horribly that I kind of just took myself off the table and didn't want another relationship because I was so torn up over everything that happened with him.
But with this guy in my class, he's so nice, and so funny, and knows all about my Beatles and Harry Potter obsession, and still talks to me even though I'm weird as all hell.
I don't really even know what to do at this point.
I guess there is nothing to do.
Come tomorrow, he won't be in my life anymore, and I'll just have to continue fantasizing about him until another man comes along, hopefully soon, because I'm tired of being alone.