Biolgical fathers.
Monday, Sept. 03, 2012 6:34 PM

I went to sleep last night mentally reminding myself of what I was planning on writing in this, but I've completely forgotten it.
We'll see where this goes.
Today, my mother was browsing the internet regarding her family history and all that. She then decided to research my father's biological father.
I had known that my dad's last name is courtesy of his step-dad. I had wrongly assumed that his biological dad had simply died when he was a toddler or something of the sort, and my grandmother remarried his step-dad who then adopted him and gave us our current surname.
So I was talking to my mom and she had found out this my dad's biological grandmother had just died recently, and that his father was, in fact, still alive.
I asked her why my dad never talks to him and we've never met him.
This is the point where my heart broke, and I gave up browsing along with my mother.
She informed me that the last time my dad saw his biological dad was when he was in the air force. This had to have been some 25 years ago. Apparently, his biological dad was driving through where my dad was stationed at, and they had planned to meet up.
They got to the same spot, and his dad (at this point I use the term, VERY loosely) refused to get out and see him and drove away.
I've never really given much thought to my dad's father. His step-dad and my grandmother divorced after 8 or so years, and I've never met him, but that was the last father figure he had.
He grew up really, without one-as far as I'm aware.
This stuck out so much to me, and I'm not really sure why.
Maybe it's because it's so evident that he has tried to be the best father he could be to my sister and I.
Maybe it's because in the letter he wrote to me on the day I was born, he expressed how he was worried that I would start believing that because he was unable to be there for my birth, that he didn't care for me. He put those nonexistent fears to rest when he stated that I meant the world to him.
It just breaks my heart to think of my dad being affected at all by some douche bag who couldn't even give his son the time of day.
When reading his mother's obituary, I became really incensed at the fact that he ended up with other children.
Why was my dad so disappointing to him?
I wish I could talk to this fucker, but that won't happen. I don't think my dad would want that to happen either.