What the fuck have I done?
Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2012 9:38 PM

Well, I did it.
I'm meeting up with Jake tomorrow afternoon, because I'm a fucking dumb ass cunt.
That's putting it lightly.
We're not "back together." We are simply getting together to discuss the possibility of returning to a relationship, but he said either way he still wants a friendship with me-which only means he wants to be friends so we can fuck when he feels like it without being in a relationship.
I don't know why the fuck I did it. I'm so utterly disappointed in myself.
I've only told one friend that I'm meeting with him because I'm embarrassed.
Even if we were to embark on yet another try at a relationship, I'd have to keep it a secret because I don't even want to contemplate the looks of disappointment on my parents' faces when I explain that even though the fucker took my virginity and I stressed for years regarding HIV and just being utterly broken, I'm still willing to give him yet another shot.
I really do need to move to London, because being in the same town as Satan incarnate is doing no good on my morale.
I think this entry is proof enough that I shouldn't even be considering this possible move.
I'm disappointed in myself, called him Satan Incarnate, and am literally dreading this meeting.
Sounds like a great fresh start at a relationship, doesn't it?
What the fuck have I done?