Like a fucking dream I'm living in.
Tuesday, Apr. 09, 2013 8:39 PM

I just kind of wish that someone could love me like I feel like I should be loved.
That sounds a bit narcissistic, but it's the truth. I tell everyone around me that I couldn't stand being in a relationship right now because I need the me time and all that kind of junk, but in all honesty, I hate laying in my bed night after night alone.
I hate how when something great/wonderful/tragic/horrible happens to me, I don't really have anyone to tell other than my parents. It's like when I got accepted to UCR my first thought was, I can't wait to tell anthroboy, and then I realized that the relationship in my head is far different than the relationship in real life. That being, there is absolutely no relationship because I haven't seen him since like, October/November.
I really didn't think I could ever bet his besotted over someone, but I really am. It's horrible because I'll never see him again, but I hold onto this hope that one day, he'll be stuck at campus for a long time and so we'll finally run into each other and then everything will fall into place.
It won't happen though.
I'm graduating in May and transferring in September. I don't even have a fucking clue where he would transfer to, but I can tell you right fucking now it's not gonna be UCR.
I'm just utterly hopeless.