And So It Goes. 09.11.46-09.18.13 <3
Wednesday, Sept. 18, 2013 5:41 PM

I know it's been quite a while since I've written but I really need to write everything down and this is obviously the place to do so.
My grandmother passed away today.
She's had more medical problems than a pre-med's text book, but she's overcome every single one of them.
She had a heart attack, and bounced back like it was nothing.
She had breast cancer, chopped it on off and carried on.
She had a stroke, but kept all functions as right as rain.
She had diabetes. She had the worst form of psoriasis known to man. She had blood clots. But she carried on.
Until today, when she passed away in her sleep to finally be reunited with her life partner.
And none of it seems real and yet all of it seems real.
My mother is devastated, understandably. It's her that I'm worried about. Her whole life it's mainly been her and her mom and she was the one that took care of my grandmother when she lost her will to live after her life partner died.
My mother sacrificed a lot because of the love she had for her mother.
My oldest sister was her caregiver and lived with her for about 13-14 years and she was the one who found her.
When my mother and I arrived at the house earlier this afternoon, the police were already there and waiting for my mother because she had power of attorney for my grandmother. They stayed and explained what was going on but the thing I was shocked about was that they called in a citizen volunteer that specializes in grief counseling, and that man stayed with us and explained everything and got in contact with the mortuary for them to pick up my grandmother.
He helped my entire family so much and when he was there it helped me to realize that I grieve in a completely different way from the rest of my family.
I was rather despondent throughout the whole ordeal.
When my grandmother's life partner, Laly, passed away I was in 5th grade so I was kept away from everything that had happened.
But today, I was there, I said goodbye - or what I thought was a good bye, and I saw them wheel her out to where I'll never see her again.
My mother had tried leaving it up to us if we wanted to go into her room and say goodbye before the people from the mortuary got there, but my older sister mostly guilt-tripped me into it.
I really didn't want to see my grandmother dead because it was the final nail in the coffin-excuse the pun- at me realizing that she really was dead. My sisters and I decided that we would go in together, so my oldest, who'd already said her own goodbyes, opened the door, and I walked in, and my youngest looked through the door and began sobbing uncontrollably and walked out to cry in the hallway.
I never really said anything to my grandmother because I was overwhelmed with tears and so my oldest sister just hugged me while we were in there.
Seeing my grandmother like that was something that I suppose I needed to see, but really didn't want to.
When the people from the mortuary came they said they'd put her on the stretcher and not cover her face to give us a chance for the final goodbyes and seeing my mom deal with this broke my heart to an unknown measure.
Even my sister's husband who was never a favorite was really broken over my grandmother's passing. I'll remember her helping me learn how to spell the words for my school spelling bee and her putting about 7 times more sugar than necessary in kool-aid, and her goulash, and how even though it was a few months after Laly passed away, she promised me she would attend my church play and did.
So now she'll be cremated and probably be put in the same urn that Laly is in and we'll probably spread their ashes somewhere.
And we'll move on and carry on because that's what she would want for us, because after all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
And so it goes.